10 Weeks

          In the past, I have never thought writing was my strongest skill. Throughout this course, I have been able to better identify why this is true. I have not only gotten feedback from my professor, but also from my peers. This, in addition my own reflections, has really made me more self aware of the mistakes, or the lacking necessities in my writing. I found that one of my biggest weaknesses in writing is my lack of specificity and examples. In my first essay for this course, which was about a piece of writing advice that I could apply to my own writing and life, I found it difficult to think of what specific evidence I needed right away. I now see that it was important to include information about what specifically needs to be cut out from my writing in order for my point to make sense to reader. Additionally, towards the end of the paper, I needed to include more personal experiences about why cutting out essentials was not a necessity for my life and why music, what type specifically, and entertainment is important to me. One of the challenges here, that I am trying to overcome but putting myself in the place of the reader and not myself, is figuring out what the reader needs to know in order for my writing to have clarity. I often skip over important details because it seems obvious to me, even though it would never cross the readers mind. 

          While I believe that I have made significant process with making sure to include details and personal information, I know that I still have a lot of work to do in the future. I think one thing that may help me with my writing, not only with evidence based writing, but also with stylistic writing, is pouring all of my thoughts onto the page without really thinking about how it is going to turn out. I tried to take this approach while writing and editing my pieces for the final portfolio. I find that it allows me to follow my train of thought, which is often more detailed and frankly more interesting than a lot of the work I am used to writing. Instead of the almost stiff, “academic” writing that I feel like I have been trained to do in preparation for AP English tests and research papers in my past. I have never felt free to, or even allowed to, write how I think or feel until this class. Adapting to the change was difficult, as my first paper, and even still in the first draft of my second paper had this almost rigid feeling, but I believe that I have opened up more as a writer during the process of working on my final portfolio. 

          For the final portfolio specifically, I chose to work on pieces that I thought I could develop the most, specifically in a stylistic way. I believe that by choosing the topics that were the most personal, like my obsessions and the six word sentence piece, where I wrote about a story from my life, I could write in a more passionate manner. The piece I am most proud of is the six word story, that I developed to be an introduction to the story of my trip to the Czech Republic. I enjoy this piece the most because I truly enjoy were I decide to take it, or rather how I include it in the final version seen in the portfolio. By putting the actual assignment as an introduction, it serves as a hook, without being one sentence that may or may not be substantial enough to actually draw attention. Keeping the reader in the dark in the beginning keeps them interested and hopefully sparks curiosity that will later be explained in the rest of the story. Additionally, I also believe that I did a good job at providing specific examples from my trip without actually citing any information, but rather by drawing from my personal experience. In my other work, the piece about obsessions, I tried to put in specifics by saying what exactly it was that I was obsessed with, instead of just the broad idea of that particular obsession. Each piece, including the revision of my second essay is what I believe to be the best examples of how I have grown as a writer throughout this course. 

The City

The City 

          The group convened behind the door. Excitedly whispering about the night ahead. The plan was simple, easy even. To move quickly and quietly out. We waited for the right time. And anxiously paced again and again. Yet time would just not budge. Everything had to go perfect, smoothly. No mistake were to be made. Our less adventurous companions watched closely. They are our lookouts and guiders. Calling if they hear any signs. The clock struck 12, go time. So one by one we walked. Down the stairs, down the hall. Past the doors, past the desk. Through the turnstile, to the night. The brightly light city before us. Although we could not celebrate yet. The building still stood behind us. A few more paces to go. We looked up back and above. A shining familiar face now visible. Our friend sitting in the window. Watching us walk down the path. It assured us of our purpose . Turing back to the city lights. We then continued on our way. The foreign place seemed so enticing. Streets and corners still left unturned. New memories and new faces waiting. Here the streets were empty, cold. Yet ahead they were bustling, warm. Night still young, we were ready.  

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          The summer after my junior of of high school, 12 students, including myself, flew across the Atlantic Ocean to the Czech Republic. Prior to this trip, I knew nothing about the city Prague, or even the country itself, which honestly made the trip that much more exciting. I loved the idea of traveling. Even the typically daunting airport setting thrilled me. The crowds and crowds of people pushing and shoving, put me at ease. It was bustling and busy and full of life, and became the physical embodiment of how I felt on the inside. Sure I was nervous, and maybe a little bit antsy waiting for the plane, but traveling would not be the same without the huge journey to the land of airports. 

          The city was beautiful. Nothing like anything I had ever seen before, despite traveling a bit in the past. The building themselves oozed character and made me wonder about the stories behind them. What had happened behind those walls? What would it have been like to live there so many years before now? Nothing in the United States made me as curious about history as this city had. New York City, my absolute favorite place in the U.S, was filled with life and people and even memories, but something about this new, exotic place captured me, and made me want to explore. 

          This group of people, people I had never interacted with before suddenly some of what felt like my closest friends. We bonded over experiences. We sat, in the only Starbucks we could find, laughing about how “American” we were before we soon set off to find the best local pastries we could find. We craved the seemingly black list foods like Doritos and devoured the potato dumplings we never thought we would enjoy. We missed the comforts of our own beds but longed to walk the streets of the foreign city. We were caught between doing what we knew and trying to discover what we did not. It made us close and I will never forget the moments we shared. 

Obsessed

Obsessed 

          I am obsessed with music. It brings out every emotion and makes me happier than anything else. It brings people together and allows them to bond over mutual interests.

          I am obsessed with TV. I am a diehard fan of so many shows and when I start to watch, I get attached. I begin to love all of the characters and want to follow their story until the very end.

          I am obsessed with my bed. Laying down after a long day is one of the best feelings in the world and we are lucky to experience it everyday. Nothing can compare to the sense of relaxation of sprawling out and letting everything go.

          My obsession reached a whole new level over the summer. I distinctively remember laying in bed and listening to music on a night were there was nothing else to do. At that moment, I had a huge desire to watch TV, simple enough. However, I did not want to stop listening to my music. They were two of my favorite activities separately, so why couldn't they be combined? It was then when I decided to combine all three of my favorite things by watching Supernatural, one of my all time favorite shows, on mute with subtitles, music playing in the background, while laying in bed. While this may seem obsessive, however fitting, it is a moment that I will always remember for my “ingenuity”.

          My obsessions have become such a big part of my life, that two of them are what I have decided to pursue for my career. Music and television, or simply entertainment in general, have consumed my life in the past couple years. It all started with Blink-182, a pop punk band from San Diego, and has grown to a music library well over 1,500 songs. As for television, I remember watching shows like The Golden Girls and Monk with my mom, while I now binge-watch shows like Scandal, Orange is the New Black, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. My obsessions make my day to take life so much more interesting and enjoyable.

          Can you imagine life without music? Some of the life’s best moments become even better with a song that is perfect for that specific time. That way, the songs themselves become memories. Even just a few chords can bring back memories that may have been forgotten. Blink-182, my all time favorite band from middle school, all the way to high school, still reminds me of my friends at the time, and some of the moments we shared. I will never forget singing The Rock Show with my best friend while running down the sidewalk of our high school. 

          What about life without television? While it’s not as present in my day to day life, when I sit, or lay down to watch a show, I am in it for the long haul. A TV show is not just a TV show to me, it becomes a part of my life. I get so invested in the characters lives that I feel the need to know what happened to them as quickly as possible. This action is what many call binge-watching. It’s not just a pastime, it’s a lifestyle.

          I certainly can’t think about life without a bed, can you? While it seems so ordinary or expected even, beds are truly one of the best things in the world and are, in my opinion, under appreciated. It is one of my absolute favorite places to be. It makes me feel comfortable and warm. It is without a doubt worthy of an obsession.

Lights Beyond the Stage

Bridget Filipe

Kirsten Kaschock  

English 101-009

12/5/14

Lights Beyond the Stage

Summary:

From beyond the band, the equipment and the stage, the three of us admired the crowd, that was glowing from a thousand phone lights, waiting for the next live performance. That had been there countless times before, packed in between so many people, yet still so unbelievably happy to be there. Today was different. I had won a backstage ticket from an online contest, and was now anxiously waiting for the show to start. To my left was Meg Carter and to my right was Tina Wells, both journalists that have written on the effect of technology and digital media on music, and specifically live music. As a topic that I was, and had been, interested in for quite some time, I knew I had to talk to them. I tried to plan what to say, so I would sound like I knew what I was talking about, but wasn’t too overly eager to scare them off. “Well”, I thought, “here goes nothing”.

Cast:

Meg Carter, a writer for New Age Magazine, a british magazine about the use of interactive media in the United Kingdom. (Carter)

Tina Wells, a writer from Billboard, a music magazine based in the United States. (Wells)

Bridget Filipe, a college student, music enthusiast and avid concert goer. 

Bridget: “Live concerts have changed so much after all of this new technology and digital media. I mean the phones in the crowd alone show how much things have changed. It’s always been a big part of the experience of when I go to shows because i’m always trying to get as many pictures as possible. I’m starting to wonder if it’s really the best way to do it though. (Bridget pauses for a moment) I’m Bridget by the way, it’s nice to meet you” (Filipe). 

Meg: “Hello, I’m Meg Carter. I’m a writer for New Age Magazine and I actually just wrote and article about how ‘the whole experience of live music, from getting information to buying tickets and even re-watching the concert afterwards’, even from phones like you mentioned, ‘has been revolutionized by digital media’” (Carter). 

Bridget: “Oh that’s fascinating! I’ve thought about it a lot in the past couple of years. Without digital media, and even the Internet, the music industry would be so different. It’s become such a huge part of day to day life” (Filipe).Tina: “Sorry to bud in, but I have also done a lot of research on this topic, specifically focusing on teens, and I’m curious as to what your opinions are. It’s not surprising that you say technology has become a big part of your life. ‘The evolution of the Internet and digital age has irreversibly affected nearly all aspects of teen life, from fashion and style to culture in general.  But music may have undergone the most drastic change because of advances in media technology. For the first time, an entire generation has been well-versed in the workings of Internet downloading and peer-to-peer file sharing’” (Wells). 

Bridget: “I personally can’t imagine my life without it. Not only is a great resource, but it also is a way to stay connected. I learn about so many concerts from social media like Twitter or even apps like Song-kick that are made to have upcoming touring schedules in one spot. It does keep me updated on culture too. I check my Twitter, Buzzfeed, Facebook and Instagram news feeds more than I’d like to admit”, (Filipe).

Meg: “You’re not alone ‘Social networking is tipped by many as the next big thing in live music information portals’” (Carter).

Tina: “‘Social networking is definitely a new development that has changed so many aspects of lives, for teens especially. It’s ‘a hybrid product of a teen's need to socialize and the Internet's instant connectivity’” (Wells).

Meg: “You know, ‘historically, live music was an offline event promoted via flyers, ticketed on paper and the gig itself captured on tape. Digital medias have reshaped the live music business, with aggregators revolutionising how fans’ (Carter glances over at Bridget) people a lot like yourself it seems, ‘find out about events. The next wave of digital-driven innovation in live music is expected to be social: recommending events and sharing music-related content” (Carter).

 Tina: “‘And more and more, market leaders in entertainment and media are learning that today's youth demands convenience and customization when it comes to their music and lifestyle choices. Teens love options’. Bridget, I’m interested in what you think about the constant new developments in media ” (Wells).

Bridget “Well that’s definitely true that teens love option. I believe that we are always going to want something else, the next best greatest thing in the market. Whether it’s the new iPhone or a brand new social media site, for the most part, teens will always be on top of it” (Filipe).  

(All three pause to look back at the crowd. The audience is still using their phones to capture every moment of the show and share them online.)

Tina: “‘While most of today's digitally spoiled teens likely fail to realize the true convenience of having all their music on one portable device, they are surely captivated by the customization possibilities the iPod’, or iPhone’ offers” (Wells). Meg: “Phones ‘really have transformed the festival-going experience, with a host of text-to-big-screen applications for promotions and competitions’ the ones where the whole audience can see someones texts on stage for a couple of seconds, ‘and mobile apps from bands, promoters and sponsors. The essence of this approach has already been demonstrated at The O2, where fans enjoy free, added-value live music-related mobile and online content. Screens at the venue enable fans to create content to upload onto mobile or social network profile pages” (Carter). 

Tina: “Never before has Internet access been so widespread. Never before has communication been more instantaneous. And never before have personally controlled Internet pages been more possible than with the advent of sites like MySpace (or Twitter). Social networking sites present a new standard in complete personal customization” (Wells).

Bridget: “It’s now so easy have a completely personal page where you can share common interests, passions for music or even interest in a certain band in particular. I use Tumblr as a site to reblog pictures of concerts I’ve been to, or even of band that I like, as a way to remember and share my experiences. I think websites like these are great ways for bands to interact with fans or even to just get their name out there” (Filipe). 

Meg: “For proactive artists, digital enables greater one-to-one interaction with fans. The live music business is clearly hungry for the opportunities digital platforms provide, even if their readiness to embrace them in current economic conditions remains uncertain. ‘Digital channels enable artists to get a lot closer to their fans in a way that’s impossible using traditional media alone. It has become a core need for artists to promote themselves effectively through digital channels. Some get it, many don’t.’ says Jeremy Phillips, co-founder and COO of digital business’” (Carter). 

Bridget: “I believe that if bands take the time to try to make connections with fans on a one-on-one, or even just a more personal level, it will create a greater connection between artist and fan which will, as a result, make the fans more dedicated and more likely to see live shows” (Filipe). 

Tina: “ …you can never learn more about youth (or a fan) than by simply taking time to immerse yourself in their world” (Wells). 

(The lights on stage briefly shut off and then are replaced by many bright colorful rays. A single strum of a guitar plays. The crowd rushes forward and the band starts to play.)

Works Cited:

Carter, Meg. "VERTICAL FOCUS LIVE MUSIC: Let's Rock." New Media Age, 25 June 2009. Web. 9 November 2014.

Wells, Tina. "What Teens Want." Billboard, 21 October 2006. Web. 9 November 2014.

Introduction to My Blog

            From my time in this class so far I have a better understanding of how to use details and examples in my writing to help convey my message. All of the assignments so far have required specific examples in order to complete the assignment, which I have found to be a great way to practice always including them. The following posts are three pieces of writing that I have done for this class. Each piece, although done for an assignment, are about something personal to my life or my writing life. Therefore, instead of struggling to write about something that I have no interest on, I wrote with ease.

1.Intro to Vivid Memory

2.Under the Stars

3.Intro to My Obsessions

4.Could’t Live Without 

5. Intro to Revised Essay

6. Hey, Cut It Out!

Intro to Vivid Memory

            This piece is a vivid memory of one of the best experiences of my time in high school. I did not initially think of this memory when the assignment was first given. I chose to not write about my original idea because I thought that I would focus too much on trying to make the reader empathize with my memory, which was not how I wanted to describe the event. So, I wrote about another, much happier, event instead. My goal here was not to prove something to the reader but just to write about it for myself. I ended up reminiscing a lot more than I thought I would by writing this piece, even though it is really short. I have never found myself to be that great at descriptive writing because I often leave out information that may be helpful to know. In this particular piece I worked on trying to describe, or show the scene as best I could with the knowledge that the reader would not understand what exactly I am describing. I wanted to take this approach because it made me work harder to describe the event rather than just stating facts about it. Although, writing descriptions of things or events, much like writing in general, is much easier to do when it is something I enjoy. 

Under the Stars

            Each breath puffed out a little cloud as we looked at the sky above us. The gleaming stars and moon above lit up the buildings and land I had learned to love. The layers of blankets and jackets shared among us all, provided just enough warmth to make us stay on the rooftop of that cold may night. Even though we knew this was the last hurrah, something about this moment seemed like it would last forever.

Intro to my Obsessions

            This writing piece is about my current obsessions. I choose to put it on my blog not only because I think I explain my obsessions well, but also because it will help give the reader some background information on me as a writer. For this piece, I included three different obsessions, that all relate to each other in some way. While music and television are more obviously connected, my bed is a little different. Even though this is the case, my bed is often the place where I listen to music or watch TV, which makes them all so much better. I have often wished that I could watched TV and listen to music at the same time while in bed. I originally wanted to expand on this piece or assignment in the future but I am now somewhat conflicted about it because I like how each obsession has a short description. If they all had a paragraph long length it would take away from how concise they are all. I also like that each of them is three sentences. Even though this was not intentional, I think it ties them all together even more and makes it seem completed. 

Couldn't Live Without

I am obsessed with music. It brings out every emotion and can make me happier than anything else. It brings people together and allows them to bond over mutual interests.

I am obsessed with TV. I am a diehard fan of so many shows and when I start to watch, I get attached. I begin to love all of the characters and want to follow their story until the very end.

I am obsessed with my bed. Laying down after a long day is one of the best feelings in the world and we are lucky to experience it everyday. Nothing can compare to the sense of relaxation of sprawling out and letting everything go.

Intro to Writing #3

             The assignment for this essay was to apply a piece of writing advice to our own personal writing and lives. The very first draft, or the first 200 words, of my paper was really missing specific examples, details and clarification when I made broad statements. This later translated into the version I turned in before this one. My goal for editing this essay was to make my points more specific and to try and limit all of the times I use “it” or “this” without specific context. When I use these “place-holding” words, I usually think the reader will always know what I am trying to say even though it may not be obvious. This is one of the issues I have found in my writing and one that I mention in the essay. Sometimes it was difficult to find what to replace the place-holding words with because I did not want to repeat myself over and over, another of my writing issues. So, to combat my mistakes I tried to find synonyms or another similar idea when I mentioned the same topic more than once in a paragraph. At the end, I tried to expand on my thoughts in a broader sense rather than just tying them together really quickly. The idea of expanding on the conclusion rather than just ending has always been difficult, but I tried my best to write down where I thought the essay could go if I were to elaborate on my writing in the future. 

Hey, Cut It Out

Hey, Cut It Out

             When I am unsure of what to say, I ramble. Sometimes, I find it difficult for me to form a complete thought into words, I will write entirely around what I am trying to say. Since this is the case, I often never get to the statement or point I am trying to get across. This repetition and lack of specificity makes my writing unclear and very wordy. The pieces of advice that I chose are things that I have heard often, from both my teachers and peer editors. They have told me that I need to cut out the unnecessary words in my writing and connect my thoughts better. I remember multiple occasions in school, getting back drafts of my papers, and seeing red lines through sentence after sentence, from teachers trying to get me to cut out the extra. 

             Even though I agree that my writing can sometimes be cut down, I also believe that cutting can take away details or further explanations. On occasion, the repeated sentences in my writing can explain my point a little bit further, so cutting them out also cuts out important information. Sometimes it is difficult to pick out which statements are necessary and which complicate my writing. I may believe that the process of finding the excess is difficult because my writing often seems to have clear, thought out, and planned sentences. However, I have learned that this is not often the case for other people. 

             One of the best ways that I have found to help fix this issue is to have a friend peer edit my work with me. That way, when they get lost, I can talk it out with them and figure out a more concise way to explain myself. This process also usually involves realizing that I basically repeated myself two sentences in a row and cutting a lot of the extra words out. Hearing my words out loud and having another set of eyes read the writing with me, helps me catch the things that need to go. Sometimes, it seems like I allow myself to brush over and accept parts of my writing that are extra or not needed.

             Instead of picking one piece of advice, I picked two that compliment each other in regards to my bad writing habits. I have found that these two pieces of advice, cutting out and to connect my thoughts better, become the most necessary when I am writing on a subject that I struggle to find an interest in. When a topic, like music, is fascinating to me, I am more capable of connecting my thoughts into clear, concise and readable words. A research paper about the music industry I wrote in High School, with a minimum length requirement of five pages, was much more enjoyable to write than a lot of my shorter length homework assignments that year. Music, specifically the music industry, is one of my main interests in life. Writing, and even just talking about it, is something that I do not get tired of or struggle with. This paper, that could have been five pages of the same sentence repeated over and over, was actually the paper I am most proud of so far. Instead of fighting myself to reach the word limit, I wrote with ease and confidence, something that has rarely happened in my writing history. 

             Entertainment, defined as leisure, relaxation, or recreation, and arts, defined as an outlet of human expression, can also be called extra or unnecessary. While society does not technically need these outlets, they are still a huge part of everyone’s lives. As something that I have chosen to focus my future on, specifically my passion for music, has become essential to my life. Cutting out music would not make life clear or even uncomplicated. When applying this advice to my writing, I find it to be necessary and helpful, as it makes it easier for the reader to understand. However, if the same advice is applied to my life, and many other peoples lives, it becomes unnecessary itself. Without the extras, life would be dull. 

             Cutting out unnecessary and extra words is essential to making my writing better. While it is difficult to always catch myself repeating statements, there are ways to fix it. As my peers have commented, reading my work out loud will help me catch what is redundant and therefore unnecessary. Even though my writing can benefit from cutting away, there are times in life when the extras do not need to be cut. Sometimes, the extras are what makes life interesting and enjoyable. I think the the most important piece to take away from the advice, “cut it out”, is it to know what exactly to cut. If you take away the wrong things, such as examples in writing, or even the arts in life, it will lessen the quality of the experience. Passion for the arts or even for entertainment brings people together. Without life’s little moments of bonding over shared interests, there would be less experiences of human connection. Some of my favorite memories are from live shows were I not only got to connect with not only my friends but also the people around me. Moments when the entire audience sings along to a song or jumps in unison are moments I will never get sick of. They are experiences that come from the “non-essential” world of art and entertainment but are essential to me and so many others.